Jake's Guide To Getting Into Hell

Envision The Bible As A Bad Acid Trip Scripted By A Drunk Carlin Crashing A Hobby Lobby After-party, Where Balaam's Donkey Dropkicks Leviticus To A Darkthrone Polka Remix While Dahmer Twists Balloon Indulgences That Pop With Holy-water Spritzes: Jake's Guide To Getting Into Hell Is A Snark-slinging Scripture-shredder Where Jesus Ghosts Your Rom-com Wet Dreams ( He'd Swipe Left On Your Heart Doodles, Sinner ), Purity Rings Double As Genital Gong Show Gag Props, And Trans Saints Lead Glitter-flamethrower Parades Torching Hypocrite Toupees ( Leviticus Banned Crop Tops Too? ). Jaques, Robicheaux, And Bannerman's Unholy Trinity Turns Catholic Clown-car Crimes Into Horror-comedy Specials (priests Peddling Forgiveness Like Florida Timeshares) And Heaven's Dress Code Into A Straitjacket With Sequins, Climaxing In Hell's Bash Where Hyena-hitler Yaps Rally Fails, Peacock-caligula Face-plants The Punch Bowl, And Satan The Fox Slings Absinthe With A Wink ( Chaos Between Friends?